She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
