If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
