Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
