You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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