No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
