i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
