kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
