dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
