Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
