I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
