if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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