gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
