i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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