How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
