Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
