we're blogging at a bar
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
