I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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