Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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