Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
