I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
