I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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