I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
