I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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