My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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