i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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