He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize