she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
