Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
