lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize