i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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