I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
