How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he fucked my hip out of place.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
