This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
