How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
