I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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