we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize