yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
