Screwed.edu
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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