lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
