watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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