I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
