I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
