That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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