Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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