I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I cut my penus on the lid.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Mom said you looked used
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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