Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My balls are so social today.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
