I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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