her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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