His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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