forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check