Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??