ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
