make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight