Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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