Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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