I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
