No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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