I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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