aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pour the whiskey from now on
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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