i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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