I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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