Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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