So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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