Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
