Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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