The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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