It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
