Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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