He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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